HELLO PEOPLE!
MOVING TO BLOGSPOT FOR NOW!

it has been ages ever since i used the aiba pic!
hahahhaas
went gloria house after stats lec today
me shimin minyi went first
then later vivian belle amanda and huiqin came and join us.

they were like doing access in gloria's room
while i was helping gloria doing something for her friend.
yupps.
cool~

and her mum cooked nice nice pasta and mushroom soup!
yum yum!
and it was spooky story time after dinner
however, only me belle vivian shimin and gloria
cos amanda and huiqin were at the living hahahs.

luckily we prayed before leaving her house!
hahahs
:D

awkward train ride home.
hahhas
hope things get better,
and you really talked to me during dinner?
i didnt realise.
if yes, im really sorry about it:D

many things have happened for the past few days,
or perhaps i should say past few weeks, just that without me noticing it.
i realised i have been thinking about the things that nvr really happen,
but neglected about the things that did happened.

i got to say, i was really hurt when i first saw the post
am i really that detestable huh?
but i chose to not think about it now.

if a change of mood and make everyone happy.
if a smile can make everything go right, why not do it.
just a smile.

i hope i can understand it better.

i realised this few days,
i kept having moments where my mind is in total blank
and i only realised it after that moment.
is it good or bad?
hahahs i really dk as well.

OH I AM REALLY ADDICTED TO 张芸京'S SONGS NOW:D

i really dont know what i can do alr.
but one thing for real, i didnt badmouth about you.
i really really need a talk.
but i have got no idea on how to go about doing it.
can you help me?

many things got me thinking, somehow.
a few weeks ago, he could be lively, lame chap.
but now, lying in the hospital bed, helpless.
why is life so unpredictable?

met xinyi for breakfast today morning.
we went to toastbox, hahhas
it have been ages ever since i talked to her face to face.
i will be meeting her yongmei mel and yuexiu in less than 24 hours time!:D
hahas and i bought a pencilcase.

ytd vivian and i went to plaza sing to watch april bride.
it was touching, but yet i didnt even shed a single tear.
amazing huh?
even amanda said it was cool!~
i laughed more than i feel sad
hahhas.
why is it a little awkward with vivian?
its like we wont really talk, just walking next to each other silently.
maybe its just me, or there isnt anything much to talk about ytd
hahahs.

stayed home after breakfast.
and watched some video and slept.
i woke up at like 8?!
hahahs
maybe thats why i dont feel like sleeping now.

i really find the need to talk to you,
but im afraid that i will affect you.

TRY!
i just went to vivian's blog and the FAME song got stuck into like it did to her
hahhahahas!
i have kinda forget that i did watch this movie with huiqin vivian pearlyn.
this show did make me reflect?
i guess so.:D

i wonder if i can still continue to talk to you or sms you like i used to?
if i really can, can you drop me an sms?
if you know who you are:D

CAN ANYONE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE F*** IS GOING ON!?
I REALLY REALLY DONT LIKE THIS KIND OF FEELING~
I CANT IMAGINE GOING GENTING WITH THIS ATMOSPHERE!
I REALLY REALLY HOPE THINGS WILL CHANGE BETTER TMR!:D

maybe all is just due to my overthinking!
like amanda said!
i should make my day a happy one!:D
im trying to now!:S

september 22 hadnt been a very good day for me,
even since 12 midnight.

to me, many things have happened.
this is kinda making me feel scared.
things did happened,
but yet we all treat it like normal.
are we going to run away like that for the rest of the times.
face each other like that from now on?

you pulled me into this, and now you pulled yourself away
leaving me alone.

in my previous post i said that im not emo,
it seems that im not determined to really changeD:
im back to my old self.

back to chalet.
im back from my class chalet.
it was fun and enjoyable:D
im glad that i got into this class
cos the people inside are all fun.

maybe its the merry that we have had for the past 3 days,
that made me more lonely today.
hence emo?
i also dk.

i shall do a brief summarization of the chalet:d
first day~
isabelle's birthday!
had fun bullying her!:D
hahhahs!

then second day!
we went for breakfast and then back to pokers
and to games!
then went to rent bikes.
thinking that i dont know how to cycle, i didnt go for night cycling.
hahas on the way back from renting bike,
wilbur cycled me, but we fell D:
lucky not much of injury. he cut himself though, hope he is alright:D
then they went for dinner while jolene yingwen and me went to shower, since we are not going
then soulmate called, she came but went with them for cycling.
and. uh hum.

they came back, played abit pokers then stoned to sleep.

third day!
nothing much,
after checking out, we had 2 movies in a row.
hahahs!:D
and then to dinner at red hill.

but with my emo self,
many things got me thinking again!
why why why?

why do i keep feeling im just a substitue!

i had my intermediate 1 exam today,
for both midterm and final test, i must score a total of 120
so, for midterm i scored 78 i will need to score another 44 for this one
which i think shouldnt be much of a problem
since my teacher told me i passed oral:D

yeah and now, back to my emotions.
i haven been really going out this few days,
only once with amanda.
it made me thinking,
friendship doesnt just drift because you all didnt talk for a week or so
you are still friends
the past me have really been thinking too much
the friends you know are still there unchange
why are you worrying so much karen lee!
you are so dumb!

hahahs.
so im not emo!
私は嬉かったです:D

sometimes i really really feel that i dont know you.
i feel that you are just making use of me.
it may be unfair to you, cos you dont intend it to be like that.
but
this is exactly how i feel.

you may not even read my blog.
but i just wanna say,
i really treat you as a close friend.
a nice one.
but i dont feel the same from how you are treating me.

please, let me feel that, i am your friend and not just some random person whom you will find when you need.

i finally realized that my emo is too difficult for others to accept.
maybe i should just keep it to myself and not let the others know.
in this way, maybe i wont affect the atmosphere or the mood of my friends.
like this, everything will turn out fine.
wont it?

but hiding my real self from everyone is tiring.
i figure out that i will need someone to talk to.
but who is that SOMEONE?
is it someone whom i already know?
or someone whom i will meet in the future?

anyone who is willing to lend me a listening ear?
and be my bestie whom i can share my thoughts and secrets with?
vice versa, you can share yours with me too:D

ps: really hope this works. i find no one whom i can really really talk to.
      not being emo. but just hope that i can find someone to talk to. hahas.

its finally holidays!
i had went thru one semester of poly life.
it seem so fast!
many things happened.
i think i have been so different from what i am when i was in st nicks.

ytd, i went back to st nicks with mel yuexiu pris grace to visit our teachers.
everything seems unchanged there, but just that we have changedD:
it is supposed to be like that, but still
i cant help to feel nostalgic about the past.

holidays are here, but im still like a kid who stays at home all day long during holidays,
its frustrating to stay at home doing nothing!
some one! ask me out!
im effing bored at home!

in our life, we will meet many many people, but who are those that are really compatible with you?
be it friends or lover.
i feel that im just being used sometimes,
not pinpointing, but just an overall feeling and thoughts.
who are people who treat you well with their hearts?
and who are those who are just being practical and just come to you when they need you?

okay, im not being emo, but expressing my thoughts.

it has really been ages ever since i blogged!
and since vivian kam has mentioned it today
i shall blog!
hahahs


in fact it is quite true that i can ahhahahs, even when i dont feel like
its like a habit to meD:

today is an emo day for me.
i also dont know why.
im really effing sian!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

exams are coming! urgh!

lets chiong tgt okay! soulmate vivian pearlyn jolene:D

okay as my title has shown, now is officially my sian period.
i didnt call it emo cos its realy not emo
not because i think too much or anything,

but seriously,
whats the problem!
you are pissed for?
you should at least tell us the reason.
what is it that is keep you from telling us?

though i should be used to all this coming from a girl school
but im really sick of it!

ps: jap mermaid birthday is fun:D

i am currently at my school macs,
stoning after finishing my stats tutorial for tmr.
some times i was wondering
am i really who i am?
am i really part of them?
sometimes it just doesnt seem like it.

i feel like the outcast sometimes

but yet,
sigh, i sometimes really got o comments about my personality

anyways,
today i was supposed to have my sharepoint personal webpage presentation
i did it alr
but then,
there isnt enough time so in the end,
me guanglong clemens got to wait till next week then present.
im so not gonna wear jeans next week!
(ps: i wore it for nothing today.)

projects due date are all coming
exams are coming (on my bday week!)
and jap intermediate class have started!
i need to learn how to manage my time well D:

NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I WISH TO SCREAM OUT LOUR NOW!
YES!
RIGHT NOW!

i dont know the specific reason myself.
but im emotionally and mentally exhausted, to put it in simple terms,
im tired!
really tired,
tired of all the things that happened, things that have past and things that are still going on
what am i supposed to do.